Monday, October 19, 2009

The militias have a new online game out...

You can read about it here.  Don't worry - I haven't included a direct link.  I'm not going to give those morons any hits.  Anyhow, it's the standard variety militia thing where some dastardly Democrat completely takes over the government during his second term and Patriotic Murrakins® fight back with the power of their guns!  It's pretty horrible; there are apparently all these fake news articles with heroic quotes from the conservative "heroes."  Of course, earlier in the scenario, the "elite" media have colluded with President Obama to take over the country and FoxNews has been shut down.  Apparently, somehow, FoxNews has managed to re-establish itself.  Oh yeah, and Glenn Beck has been killed off in an "aspirin overdose" faux suicide.  I have to admit enjoying that part, but if we liberals are going to engineer offing Beck, I'd vote for a faked autoerotic asphyxiation. 

So anyway, you can imagine what this is like.  It's like Red Dawn, but without the incredible dialogue or realistic scenarios.  They've got Sarah Palin as a resistance fighter.  Oh, please.  But I do have to give them credit for the quote: "When asked for a comment by a local reporter she said 'The time for talk is well past us. Don't ask me anything about any elections until we free this country completely from Obama, Hamas, and Obama's police force. We will put a complete end to Marxism once and for all right here in Virgina, God help us!'"  Did you notice that?  That's right, they typed "Virgina." That kind of slip-up does at least lend a little realism to the Palin interview.  But what they missed were the other questions before the poor reporter got shot:

Reporter: "So what guns are you using to take down Obama?"
Palin: "Um... all of them."
Reporter: "All of them?"
Militia: "Dayum media!" *BANG*

They also missed the moment when Obama's stormtroopers burst into Rush Limbaugh's broadcast:

Rush: "and Americans, you know, real Americans, we're not going to take this lying down!  We're going to fight and struggle and..."
(background noises of soldiers breaking in)
Rush: "oh no!  Soldiers!  And they've got guns!  Pointed at me oh my god oh my god oh my god [pitch of his voice goes higher on every syllable] squeeeeaaaallll"
Soldier 1: "Hey, he fainted.  Who's gonna pick him up?"
Soldier 2: "What's that smell?!?"
Both: "DAMN!"

Then there's the "Joe Wilson and the New Congress Militia" headline.  Like Joe Wilson would ever put his ass on the line.  Ever.  You know what would happen there?

Militia 1: "Congressman Wilson, you're an inspiration and we want you to lead our militia."
Wilson: "Me too.  And that's why I had us meet at this airport."
Militia 2: "Hey, is that Gov. Sanford waving at you from the plane?"
Wilson: "Yeah.  Listen, guys, I'll be back in 5. I gotta talk to him for a second."
Militia 1: "I'm so excited to have him with us."
Militia 2: "Me too.  He's a real Murrikan hee-ro."
Wilson (from the plane door): "I'm going to Argentina with Sanford!  See ya later, you crazy bitches!!"
Militia 1: "Where's that plane going?"
Militia 2: "I don't know, but he'll be back in 5 minutes, right?"

Militia... bringing the crazy, stupid, and armed together every day.

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